we're blogging at a bar
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
