Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
