remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
