And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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