i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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