this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
