I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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