Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
