birth control should be required to get into college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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