He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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