I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Plan B is the new Plan A
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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