and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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