I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
