I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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