If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
