So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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