I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
