I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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