we have pet lesbian snakes
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My breasts were aching with rage.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
