I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm at about main and main street
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
