I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
