Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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