In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
