new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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