I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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