He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
