Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
