BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
