Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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