I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
