I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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