Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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