Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
