dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
