Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
