Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
