Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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