so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
