So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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