Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
