great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
