well I can't set my house on fire every night
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
