If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You ruined the universe
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
