He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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