I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
