Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
