we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
