Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
