We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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