How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
