I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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