Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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