I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize