I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
