i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize