Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize