I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
