Non-Jews are for practice
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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