Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Operation Purity has been aborted
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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