Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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