he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
