I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
