Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
