is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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