um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
