Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
