Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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