im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
